KoF: The King of Fighters News At Five
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! Did you know The King of Fighters cast have their own news program? Witness some weird and hilarious news reports involving your favorite characters. Rated T for language and violence.
1. Breaking News

**The King Of Fighters News At Five**

**By**: Master Jin Sonata

**Genre**: Humor

**Written**: July 2007

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**Disclaimer**: I do not own SNK, or its kooky cast of characters.

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The scene opens with two anchors sitting behind the counter in the newsroom of Geese Tower. The program was about to begin.

_**Announcer Guy: "Live at Geese Tower, the only reliable news program in South Town, this is The King Of Fighters News At Five!"**_

**"Hello and welcome to The King Of Fighters News At Five. I'm lead anchor Rugal Bernstein."**

"**And I'm his co-anchor, King."**

"**Tonight we bring you breaking news on top of this very tower. Geese Howard, the rich and powerful businessman and so-called owner of this city, is currently in a violent conflict with his arch rival, Terry Bogard," **Rugal said.

"**Let's now go to action reporter May Lee, who's on the rooftop with live footage on this incident,"** King said.

**On The Rooftop of Geese Tower**

The camera then shows May Lee standing in the foreground of the roof, while a raging battle between Geese and Terry ensues behind her.

"**Thank you, King. As you can see, these two men are in a heated battle with one another. No one knew for sure how this incident started, until I asked a local bystander,"** May Lee said, walking over to Billy who wasn't too far from her. **"So tell us again, sir, how did this fight get started in the first place?"**

"**Well, Geese killed Terry's father, and Terry wants to get revenge by killing Geese. Pretty simple concept if you ask me,"** Billy responded, looking into the camera.

"**Interesting. But isn't this a dangerous place to be fighting? I mean, those two are awfully close to the edge of this fifty-story building,"** May Lee said to Billy.

"**Don't ask me, ask them!"** Billy responded.

**"You heard the bystander, folks. So now I will go up to one of the men and try to warn them of the dangerous area they are fighting at,"** May Lee said, as she and the camera man walks over to Geese, who had just been pushed toward the edge of the building by Terry's Power Wave.

Geese looks over at May Lee who stopped in front of him.

"**What the hell are you doing here? Can't you see that I'm in the middle of an epic ba---"** Geese said angrily to May Lee, but was cut off when Terry performed his famous Buster Wolf move on him, sending Geese flying off of the tower. May Lee and the camera man look over the edge of the building to see Geese hit the ground with a crash, only to get up unharmed and walk away from the scene in a huff.

"**Uh…this has been action news reporter May Lee reporting, back to you."** May Lee said, trailing off as she witnessed the event that just happened.

**Back In The Newsroom**

"**Thank you, May Lee. Next on tonight's news, we bring you two reports coming from South Town's county Hospital,"** Rugal said.

"**Here's what we know about the first incident: The police are on the lookout for a deadbeat boyfriend who ran from the city hospital screaming when he received news that his girlfriend was pregnant. The woman, a resident Shiranui Ninja, wants the citizens of South Town to keep their eyes peeled for this man,"** King said, showing a photo of Andy Bogard.

"**The second incident takes place inside the hospital's Operating Room. We now take you there live as health reporter Benimaru Nikaido has the latest updates. Benimaru?"** Rugal said.

**Inside South Town Hospital's Operating Room**

The camera shows Benimaru flirting with Nurse Angel about the patient, K9999, who just undergone surgery.

"**Psst you're on!"** the camera man whispered to Benimaru.

"**Oh?…Oh!!! Whoops, heheh…ahem. Here in the Operating Room, this man lying in here on the bed has just undergone intensive surgery to seal a rare condition in his arm called 'Sudden Arm Mutation Syndrome'. Nurse Angel has told me that the patient will be fine after some rest,"** Benimaru said.

"**That's right! It wasn't easy, but doctors were able to get it all under control,"** Nurse Angel said. **"Oh look, the patient is waking up from his drug induced comma. It took 47 doses of our strongest pills to put him out, and I m shocked that it didn't kill him."**

The camera pans over to K9999, who woke up yawning and looking around wondering what the hell was going on.

"**Who are these people?"** K9999 asks Nurse Angel.

"**These are just the nice reporters filming part of your remarkable recovery,"** Nurse Angel replied. **"Oh, by the way, here's your bill for the operation,"** she added, handing K9999 a slip of paper.

K9999 reads the bill, and immediately turns beet red from looking at the price he'd have to pay.

"**FORTY THOUSAND FRICKEN DOLLARS!!!"** K9999 yells in anger, his operated arm shaking and bulging violently.

"**Uh oh…uh sir, you shouldn't get so angry like that…your arm needs to time recover…"** Angel tried to say, but it was too late.

K9999's operated arm explodes to an enormous size as the hideously mutated arm waves around the room, knocking over everything as K9999 curses out in anger about the bill.

"**Um…this was Benimaru Nikaido reporting. Back to you guys…"** Benimaru says to the camera, before K9999 knocks that over as well, the signal breaking up before going completely black.

**Back In The Newsroom**

"**Thank you Benimaru…I think…" **Rugal says, both he and King with sweat drops on their foreheads.

"**Right…before we go to a commercial, let's have a quick look at the weather with our Meteorologist: Kyo Kusanagi. Kyo, how's the weather look for this week?"** King asks.

"**It's going to be hot. Feel the burn?"** Kyo says as he points to the map of South Town, showing it will by ninety degrees tomorrow.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Shingo bursts into the newsroom and runs up to Kyo, hugging him around the waist.

"**KYO-SAN!!! YOU'RE MY IDOL! COME HOME AND HAVE DINNER WITH ME!" **Shingo whined to Kyo.

"**Ugh!!! Shingo! Get off of me! Can't you see I'm busy?!?!?"** Kyo says angrily to Shingo, trying to pry him off from around him, only to stumbled backwards and fall down to the ground, ripping the weather map off the wall in the process.

Rugal and King looked at each other, before facing the camera.

"**We'll be right back after this short commercial break…"** Rugal says, embarrassed at what just happened.

**End Of Chapter 1**

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**_What do you think about this fic so far? Please review!_**


	2. Commercial Break 1

**_The King of Fighters News At 5 will return after these messages. It was now time for a commercial break._**

**_Commercial 1_**

The scene opens up in the park on a sunny day. The scene pans over to Kula, who was sitting on a bench licking an ice-cream cone minding her own business. Seth, the commercial's narrator, walks in front of the screen.

**Seth**: Just how safe are your children?

Back on screen, you can see Ramon walking up casually to Kula. He stops in front of her and began making suggestive advances toward her.

**Seth**: When they least expect it, your children may encounter a dirty-minded man who would want to take your children to see very disturbing images…like the movie where Shingo plays the Pink Ranger in the new Power Rangers movie. In case something like this happens, your child should call the proper authorities.

Kula is now seen taking out her cell phone and calling the police. Within seconds, Blue Mary and Leona, both dressed as Police Officers, rush to the scene and tackle Ramon as they began beating the living crap out of him. Kula then turns toward the camera and gives the viewer a thumbs up and a smile.

**Seth**: Remember, if a strange man confronts your children, make sure they know whom to call.

**_Commercial 2_**

This commercial opens up with a scene on a beach at sunset. The waves were softly crashing along the coast as the camera pans over to an individual lying on the beach. Benimaru was narrating this commercial.

**Benimaru**: When you're out on the beach and need protection from the sun's rays, you need the new Crimson Passion lotion.

The scene pans closer to the individual, who looks to be a woman, but upon further inspection, turns out to be Ash Crimson. Ash then began rubbing the lotion on his body in a sexy matter as passionate romance music played.

**Ash**: Ooh, it keeps my skin feeling cool while it keeps me looking hot.

**Benimaru**: Buy Crimson Passion Lotion today, also available in Yagami Rage and Kusinagi Flame scents.

**End of Chapter 2**

Please review!


	3. Local News

The commercial break was over, and it was time to resume the news program.

_**Announcer Guy: "The King Of Fighters News At Five, continues now!"**_

"**It is now time for our special segment of the evening, where we take you to the community and present to you some interviews with local organization leaders who help out our great city," **Rugal said.

"**Let's turn it over to Community Scene reporter Vanessa, who's at the local Tai Kwan Do dojo. Vanessa?" **King said.

**Kim's Community Dojo**

"**Thank you, King. I am here at this local Tai Kwan Do dojo speaking to Kim Kaphwan, owner of this fine martial arts facility. So, Mr. Kaphwan, why teach Tai Kwan Do?"** Vanessa said to Kim.

"**Well, Tai Kwan Do helps build spirit and discipline, and those are key values we teach here at this dojo,"** Kim explained to Vanessa.

As the interview continued, Chang and Choi could be seen in the background behind Kim and Vanessa. When the duo noticed he camera now focused on them, Chang and Choi began doing a goofy dance for the camera.

"**What the?!"** Kim said, quickly turning his head toward Chang and Choi, who stopped their act before Kim could catch them. **"Hmm…could have sworn I saw my two students goofing off a minute ago. Anyways…"** Kim said, resuming the interview.

Chang and Choi immediately resumed putting on a show for the camera; Chang shaking his ass while Choi did a pelvic thrust motion.

Kim again turned his head around to see what Chang and Choi were doing, but was to slow again to catch their dumb antics. Kim again resumed the interview.

Chang and Choi now began dancing all around the back of the dojo. Unbeknownst to Chang, his heaviness caused the floor to sake, which now caught Kim's immediate attention.

"**AHA!"** Kim said, spinning around to catch the two jokers dead in their tracks. **"I'll teach you two to act stupid in front of the camera!"** Kim said, leaping toward Chang and Choi and performing his Phoenix Kick special, kicking he crap out of them all on camera.

"**It seems we are getting a real life look at martial discipline in action. This is Community Scene reporter Vanessa reporting. Back to you,"** Vanessa said to the camera.

**Back In The Newsroom**

"**Thank you, Vanessa…"** King said with a sweat drop on her forehead.

**"Now for our next report in our Community Scene segment…"** Rugal said, before an unwanted guest drunkenly entered the newsroom and began singing under the influence.

It was Shingo.

"**EVERYBODY HAVE FUN TONIGHT!!!! DA-DA-DA-DA DA- DA-DAAAAA!!! EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!!!!"** Shingo sang loudly as he stumbled onto the set like an idiot.

**BLAM!!!**

Kyo, the weatherman, pulled out a gun and shot Shingo on the spot.

"**I'll clean up the mess later. Just continue with the news…"** Kyo said with an embarrassed laugh.

"**Um…right…as I was saying, let us continue with our report. Community Scene reporter Mature is reporting from the Ikari Warrior Military Base. Mature?"** Rugal said.

**Ikari Warrior Military Base**

"**Thank you, Rugal. I am here inside the control room of the Ikari Warrior Military Base, interviewing the head commander of operations: Heidern,"** Mature said. **"So, Mr. Heidern, what does your organization do for the community?" **Mature asked Heidern.

"**Well, our military routinely collects information to help track down those who may threaten the city on scales behind the police's control. My men and women in service are dedicated in protecting the city from underground syndicates and egomaniacal upstarts,"** Heidern explained.

In the background of the interview, a large control panel could be seen, with Clark working in front of the very large wall-sized monitor. Seconds later, Ralf walks in with a box of hot wings and takes a seat behind Clark, kicking his feet onto the panel. Unbeknownst to Ralf, his foot had just activated the giant Nuclear Missile button, which could now be seen on the giant screen launching. Clark is now seen running around the room in a panic trying to deactivate the missile, while Leona and Whip look on, shaking their heads in embarrassment.

Heidern finally noticed the commotion in the background, and has to cut the interview short.

"**Excuse me, Ma'am, I have some urgent business to take care,"** Heidern said, before running off camera.

"…**And there you have it. This is Community scene reporter Mature reporting. Back to you,"** Mature said.

**Back In The Newsroom**

"**Thank you, Mature. We will be right back with our daily Sports coverage after another commercial break,"** King said.

**End Of Chapter 3**

**Please review!**


	4. Commercial Break 2

**_The King Of Fighters News At 5 will return shortly. It was now time for another commercial break!_**

**Commercial #3**

**Movie Announcer: "**Coming This Summer…"

The movie preview opens with Maxima walking down the street while reading a newspaper. Not watching where he was going, Maxima steps out into a busy street…

**CRASH!!!**

…Where a passing semi truck driven by Chin creams him.

The scene then skips over to a hospital's emergency room, where several surgeons surround the unconscious Maxima.

"**We have the technology to rebuild him…"** said Blue Mary, the head surgeon.

"**Yes. We will charge the hospital fee to this man's credit card**…" said another surgeon, Joe Higashi, holding up Maxima's credit card.

Joe then proceeds to swipe it across the cash register and punch in some numbers, when a buzzing noise sounds.

"**What seems to be the problem, Joe?"** said Ryo, the surgeon's assistant.

"**This man only has $6 on his account…"** Joe says with a terrified look on his face.

_**(Cue dramatic music)**_

"**Then there is only one thing we can do…"** Blue Mary says, with determination in her eyes.

The scene then shows all of the surgeons chucking Maxima out of the hospital window as he lands upside down in a nearby dumpster.

**Movie Announcer**: "The Broke-Ass Man Who Doesn't Have $6,000,000 To Repair His Body, coming to a theater near you!"

**Commercial #4**

The scene opens with Kensou, K', Daimon, and Robert sitting around a couch playing videogames on a large TV.

"**Man, this game sucks!"** Daimon says, looking pretty bored.

"**Isn't there a more exciting game that we can play?"** Kensou whines.

Suddenly, Terry comes on the screen flashing a new game in front of him.

"**Put those boring games away, cuz here comes the new Fatal Fury X! Filled with so much action it will blow you away!!! With 300 characters to choose from, you'll be playing for hours with your friends!"** Terry says.

"**Yeah! Let's buy that game today!"** Robert says enthusiastically.

"**We can't…we're all short on cash…"** Kensou says.

Terry's expression through the TV turns sour as he glares at them.

"**What?!? What do you mean you have no money?!?! You better buy my game bitches or else!!!"** Terry says as he proceeds to jump out of the television set and chase down the game players while throwing Power Geysers at them.

**Commercial Announcer**: "Fatal Fury X! So real, it just might kill you! So buy it today!!!"

**End Of Chapter 4**

Please review!


	5. Sports News

The commercial break was over, and it was time to resume the news program once more.

_**Announcer Guy: "The King Of Fighters News At Five, continues now!"**_

"**It is now time for an update in Sports. Sports anchor Lucky G. has the report. Lucky?" **Rugal said.

"**Thanks Rugal,"** said Lucky, who sat next to him**. "Last night's big Super Bowl game with the South Town Titans and the China Town Shrimps came to a surprising close as star Quarterback of the Titans Brian Battler was injured at the final ten-seconds of the game, ultimately losing for his team to the Shrimps. We now show you a video of that session."**

The TV screen shows a replay video of last night's football game. With ten seconds left on the clock. Brian was ready to take the football and rush into the goal line, when suddenly, Bao, from the Shrimps, head-butts him, sending Brian flying the opposite direction into their own goal line.

"**Proceeding the game there was a huge riot between fans. I can guarantee you it wasn't pretty,"** Lucky said, smiling to show a few missing teeth.

"**And now for a baseball update. Star pitcher Ryo Sakazaki of the South Town Dragons retired today after he had injured his 750****th**** batter using his high-speed pitches. I must add that Ryo throwing fireballs whenever he walked the batter caused half of those injuries. Back to you, Rugal."**

"**Thank you, Lucky. That does it for tonight's news. I'm Rugal Bernstein."**

"**And I'm King."**

"**SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!"** Shingo said, bursting back into the studio, who was immediately stopped by King who performed her Illusion Dance on him, kicking him back out the studio.

**End Of Chapter 5**

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**The End!**

**All done! Please review and tell me what you think!**


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